Henrietta’s Deepest Thoughts

I’m not one to brag, boast or blow my own horn (but I have occasionally been known to understate my dress size, wine consumption and negative feelings for Hollywood hypocrites) but I must tell you that my fan mail bag is bursting at the seams. Well…perhaps not bursting but there are definitely Henrietta-istas in our midst!

Most folks want to know more about moi. I have apparently raised the curiosities of many and not wanting these lovers of all things dog to revel in uncertainty, I have opted to answer some of the most burning questions.

Henrietta, you seem to be a lady of conviction. What is your political position on immigration?
This is a mighty delicate issue and one that I can see many sides of…but, I must confess that my basic feeling is that our shelters are FULL. However, the problem is easily solved. Human beings have invented Ziploc bags, found a way to travel to the moon, convince 3000 people to be stuffed on a ship sailing to Mexico for bad food and drinks while paying thousands of dollars for the privilege and developed meat that doesn’t need to be refrigerated (otherwise known as Beef Jerky)… so you would think they could take the simple step of spaying and neutering their pet to reduce the population; then there will be enough room, love and resources for all of my four-legged compadres!

Having said that, I must also go on record as saying that I love globalization and I’ve learned much from my worldly friends…The best kiss I ever had was from a French Poodle named Jaques, I learned to listen to my inner self from a Tibetan Terrier (and my inner self told me it would like more chicken), my love for sushi would never have been realized without my Japanese Chin friend, Yakimoto, and for heaven’s sake where would I be without my Versace handbags introduced to me by famed Italian Greyhound designer, Dogettella Versace herself?

Henrietta, what is your biggest pet peeve?
First of all, the phrase “pet peeve” seems a bit harsh doesn’t it? But I guess I would have to say the archaic ordinance that dogs are not allowed in restaurants. Do they think we smell or something?

Henrietta, what are you most proud of?
After much thought, I would have to say the time I disguised myself as a cat and infiltrated the Calling All Cats Society Luncheon held at The Pink Pussy Cat (that’s a whole other story!) and learned their most inner secrets…which I promptly shared with my canine cronies. Who says dogs are smarter than cats?